Marriage is receiving a bad rap these days. When Lydia and I announced our engagement, certain friends were quick to offer their congratulations yet followed these formalities up with concerns. These questions were well-founded and were mainly asked for curiosity sake, such as: "What about school?" "Are your families okay with this?" "Will you be receiving pre-marital counseling?" and so on. After answering these concerns of our close friends they were quick to announce their excitement for our nuptials and were there to support us on our wedding day.
There were others, however, that loved to insert their unsolicited opinion and stand on their soap boxes to declare that our intentions were foolish. (The majority of these individuals incidentally [which were a small faction to begin with] openly scoff at the notion of marriage by indulging in all the benefits that the institution entails but without the formal commitments.) However, I do not necessarily hold these opinions against them. We are inundated with a culture who sees marriage as an oppressive captivity symbolized by the proverbial ball and chain. Just consider two cinema releases in the year 2007 alone: Chris Rock's
I Think I Love My Wife and Tyler Perry's
Why Did I Get Married? If I had to guess, both of these films probably ended with a reconciliation between the astranged partners and it ended "happily ever after". However, the fact that these "comedies" grossed over $67 million bearing such titles is a testamony within itself.
I insisted that these naysayers who were susceptible to this negative culture did not know what they were talking about for Lydia and I had a secret weapon. That is, a marriage that would be founded in Christ. However,
scattered statistics have been reported to say that Christians get divorced at a higher rate than atheists and agnostics. However, this is not surprising when the majority of the population claim to be Christians but have never walked inside the doors of a church, let alone harbor a covenant relationship with Christ.
I could not agree more that marriage is a serious commitment and that it should not be taken lightly. If you can not sense an overwhelming spirit of self-sacrifice within your intended, you may want to strongly consider the prospect of marriage. If you are the type that constantly argues, "I like me and I am not going to change" then marriage
is not right for you. You must change this attitude before you can ever consider. The Beatles may have it right when they say
All you need is love but it is imperative for that love to be grounded in Christ. Period.
Marriage is not something to be feared, but respected. I just wish someone told me earlier how great it truly is. Words cannot express the fun that Lydia and I are having. Even brushing one's teeth is a new experience with the love of your life by your side. You may argue, "Ha! You are in the honeymoon stage. Things will change when you hit that first major dip" and you may be right. However, Lydia and I strive to be under the obedience of Christ and agree to live with each other in an understanding way. We will be ready for those dips for our house is built on the solid foundation. This makes all the difference.
Reading all of the Dr. Phil books in the world cannot save a marriage. Only one book can.
